Dave's Dictionary 2

In the spirit of smash hit pseudo-terminology like irregardless and strategery, ADNW presents a new project – Dave’s Dictionary! You won’t find these words in Webster’s and they won’t clear your spell-check yet, but maybe one day.

Assmonia – any intestinally based illness; particularly those that make you crap a lot.
“Paul slipped out of work early, because he worried the assmonia may cost him a pair of clean shorts.”

Flumonia – a self-diagnosed illness that is making you seriously consider going to the doctor to get a real diagnosis.
“Mike couldn’t produce a doctor’s note for his supervisor, but he assured him he had a raging case of flumonia.”

Helmutt – an ugly person that has hair like a helmet.
“Lucy’s brother called her a helmutt when she matched an unfortunate figure with a particularly sturdy haircut.”

Instinkts – recognizing that a fart has been let go and vacating the area prior to the smell.
“Thinking quickly, Chad exercised his instinkts and vacated the cereal aisle before a few horrified customers knew he had dropped stink bomb.”

Beerslide – drinking adult beverages more heavily as the evening passes, then subsequently losing sense of when you should have said when.
“Things were going great for Erica until she got caught in a beerslide.”