Life through a different lens

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wisdom from the Cubicle Jungle - 9

Businesses have assorted justifications for work cubicles – brainstorm area, space savings, inexpensive production, social accountability, etc. Physically, the cube is a slightly modified version of an elementary school desk. And this description comfortably fits the hierarchical intent and ensuing behavior. The cube dwellers are the incorrigible third graders, and the neighboring office dwellers are the real adults. Born from the careful observations of a novice cube dweller, this series is an attempt to identify the complex rules of the cubicle jungle. Don’t be alarmed if some rules seem contradictory.

41) While job-hunting, you should maximize your efficiency by sharing the workload with a cube-mate. As a team, you can visit twice the websites and enjoy the social rewards of collaboration. It’s not like your next job is going to find itself!

42) It is permissible to spice up your day by playing a little game called – “Social Networking Jinx.” When stumbling on the same facebook post, the cube dweller that is last to type or say “LOL” has to buy a coke for the other. (On a side-note, please see the ADNW post “LOL must die” for our official position on that acronym.)

43) When a cube neighbor talks all day about a big party / social outing that evening, it is polite to play dumb when he/she calls in sick the next day with the beer flu.

44) It is expected you will arrive late to work most days. If anyone even notices, a standard dismissive excuse will suffice – traffic, dog vomited, shoulder shrug, etc.

45) However, when you arrive obnoxiously late (general guideline is 45 plus minutes), an interesting anecdote will be required. Your job status will not be impacted one way or the other, but your social standing in the jungle can suffer if you fail to deliver the appropriate entertainment value.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Orpheus 7 - HAMMERFEST 2010

http://www.edgetulsa.com/pages/pages.php?page=306Concert Series!

HAMMERFEST 2010

Band: Lovehammers

Website: http://www.lovehammers.com

Date: February 13, 2010

Location: House of Blues, Chicago, IL

Shows are always more enjoyable when the band is in their element, having fun and giving back to their hometown crowd. This was the case last Saturday night in Chicago where Hammerfest 2010 rocked a sold out House of Blues!

Marty Casey and the Kourelis brothers brought their A game with a strong mix of songs from their last 10 years and a belting “it’s only teenage wasteland” during a cover of the classic Who song, “Baba O’Riley”. Highlights included an 8 year old girl on stage for “Eyes Can’t See” stealing the audience hearts with her rock persona. Marty took to climbing the second tier balcony and walking the entire edge during “Oh My Babe.” Then while playing the hit “Trees” (made famous on the reality show Rock Star INXS) the band helped another Chicagoan with his Valentines Day date that came all the way from London to be named fan furthest to travel to this years show.

These guys have been friends since they were in Little League together and the benefit is to the fans (The Hammerheads). This balanced and heartfelt sound and the bands kinship shows through in their live shows. Checkout Lovehammers newest release, Heavy Crown, its character is jam-packed with heavy riffs and clever lyrics and the deep rich resonance picks right back up where the previous album left off. You’ll be reeled in for sure.

Check out these tracks and albums:

  1. Trees
  2. Clinic
  3. The Riddle
  4. Eyes Can’t See
  5. Oh My baby
  6. That’s Life
  7. Your Time, My Time
  8. Find Your Way
Marty Casey and Lovehammers

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wisdom from the Cubicle Jungle - 8

Businesses have assorted justifications for work cubicles – brainstorm area, space savings, inexpensive production, social accountability, etc. Physically, the cube is a slightly modified version of an elementary school desk. And this description comfortably fits the hierarchical intent and ensuing behavior. The cube dwellers are the incorrigible third graders, and the neighboring office dwellers are the real adults. Born from the careful observations of a novice cube dweller, this series is an attempt to identify the complex rules of the cubicle jungle. Don’t be alarmed if some rules seem contradictory.

36) Bring the drama. Your anecdotal life should mimic a soap opera. Everything has to be the worst or best, and there is no room for bland. Consider it your duty, because cube dwellers bore easily.

37) If your cubicle neighbor is in the midst of her 3rd or 4th phone call that requires the phrase, “I don’t know, what are you doing?” This is a cry for help. It is your job to help relieve her obvious boredom by dropping by to have an extended social break.

38) If your cube neighbor has a relationship in transition, it’s urgent to make sure she knows how much you care by interrogating her about the daily details of the evolving romance.

39) When someone is fired, it is expected that you will gossip in hushed tones. Certainly not so hushed as to be inaudible to the rest of the jungle, because that would also be rude. It’s more like a small child attempting a whisper – you can still be heard plainly at a distance, but you are able to express the appropriate respectful sentiment.

40) If overwhelmed with work, the best practice is to do nothing. Why let the weight of responsibility weigh you down when facebook is calling?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Douchebag 101 - Lesson 4

At ADNW, we believe the World is full of aspiring douchebags. Whether due to a foul mood, illness, habit, or simply for sport, everyone engages in a little douchebaggery now and again. [Douchebaggery (n) – the deliberate or unintentional act of behaving like a douchebag.] Most of us will apologize or at least feel badly about ill behavior in retrospect. But for those of you douchebags aspiring to go pro, ADNW has some lessons to help you on your journey. Best of luck – Douchebag!

Ya, I just came here to look at your wings.

16 - Adopt the accent and verbiage of other cultures. They find it flattering when you mock and marginalize.

17 - Use the expression “you people” liberally. There are few phrases that can more efficiently alienate a group of people.

18 - Steer clear of originality. No idea, joke, or concept could possibly be as good as one recycled.

19 - Do NOT open a door for anyone - ever.

20 – Curse liberally around children. You not only have the opportunity to cause temporary discomfort to your companions, but you also have the potential to indoctrinate the next generation of douchebags.