Manchester Airport – Although not a short ride, once you get there, New Hampshire’s principal airport is very nice. It’s easy to get around, small, clean, ample parking, and almost always running on time. But given the previous “I Hate New Hampshire” discussion, I would only recommend using it for a quick exit.
**********
That completes my list. Thank you for your time. Moving onward, here are my final thoughts on the overall topic of New Hampshire
In my Hate New Hampshire rant, it probably came off at points like I was issuing some backhanded hacks on Massachusetts (okay, perhaps not so backhanded). That’s a valid point – especially with that baby talk thing. In fairness, I have to say that I genuinely enjoy Boston. I visited several times and other than navigational issues it’s a pretty badass town. Can’t say the same about places like Worcester (which fyi is not pronounced like you’d think). Even people that live there aren’t too crazy about that scary ass town. Anyway, I would just like for Mass to do a better job of differentiating itself from New Hampshire.
To that end, I have a couple of suggestions. First of all, how about instead of border signs saying “Massachusetts Welcomes You,” perhaps go with “Welcome to NOT New Hampshire.” (Of course, 49 states could use this declaration to their advantage). And secondly, blame it on the friggin Patriots. Seriously, they name the team for a region? As a dude from Indiana, it’s true that I’m contractually obligated to hate the Pats, but this is beyond my bias. Beantown – you figured it out with the Boston Celtics, the Boston Red Sox, and the Boston Bruins. But what the hell happened with the Patriots? Fine, they officially reside in Foxborough, but a team doesn’t get to claim the whole damn region. No one else uses names like the Midwest Pacers, the South Panthers, or the Southwest Diamondbacks, unless it’s what you call your high school. Hell, take the name of the whole state if you like. But come on make a damn stand! I know the folks in Maine want a claim of something, but you don’t hear people from Wyoming bitchin for a share of the Nuggets do you? It is permissible to support a neighboring team or even a team across the friggin country if you like. People do it all the time for no good reason (bandwagoners). Even the New York Jets and New York Giants have taken a stand. Sure it’s idiotic to claim a town that’s not even in the same state you play in, but at least they took a stand. Anyway, the point is, the Pats are certainly part of the disease. Roll out a petition or something and we’ll start the healing there.
In regards to the "I Hate New Hampshire" posts.
ReplyDeleteYou sir, are a whiny bitch. You move to NH and then complain about flies and snow?! The worst part (other than the actual writing) is you have absolutely no fucking clue what you're talking about! From accents to taxes you're just dead wrong.
I unfortunately don't have time to dole out the true verbal lashing you deserve.
I've lived on 4 continents, traveled across 35 countries, and seen most of America, so when I say this I really mean it: you're a moron and a pussy.
God Bless
Dear "Anonymous" World Traveler,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your apparently dutiful readership and inspired comment. I feel compelled to somehow attempt to match your superior intellect with the following 2 statements.
1) Nu – uhhh
2) I know you are, but what am I?
(Please read the above in the voice of Pee Wee Herman).
I look forward to your future “verbal lashing.” I’m certain it will be another insightful and well-grounded retort.
And God bless you back.
You are a horrible writer and a pretty bad photographer. Your "insights" are not very insightful; not even slightly clever. Being a satiric wit typically requires a deeper understanding of the world at at large, not just a handicapped group of friends who consider you king of the idiots and laugh at all your brilliant remarks and observations. When you hit 12 members of your group, drop me a line and maybe I'll reconsider my stance.
ReplyDeleteDear “Anonymous” Uber-Popular Expert,
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, my Mom swears I have pretty hair and a nice smile.
Exactly the type of response I expected... you are weak intellectually and extremely short on smart humor. Whe you can't even counter a direct attack on your work, how can yo upossibly continue to write as though you have a strong point of view? You stand for nothing. It's one thing to be politically incorrect AND possess the raw talent to expose things in a unique, even shocking way. It's another to simply pounce on a boring topic with primitive use of the english language and consider it enlightened. Getting ready to pounce?
ReplyDeleteDear “Anonymous” Return Visitor,
ReplyDeleteYou actually referred to my writing as “work.” Am I blushing?
that's it? Really? Something tells me you're hankering to suck your thumb and hide in a corner. There's nothing new about your world, Dave. It's the same old drivel similarly spouted by half-million other "published" bloggers. Although, most have more members. You, my friend, are still at six. I bet my posts will bring more members than yours. Care to wager?
ReplyDeleteWow. Thanks for an absolute waste of time. Not only does the "humor" or "wit" so fervently striven for come up miles short, it has the basis of accuracy of a Dick Chaney shotgun blast.
ReplyDeleteWhile it's clear you didn't enjoy the time you lived in NH, some of the carefully crafted attacks/criticisms - lack of toilet seat sanitary paper, well water, your failure to buy or rent a home with an AC, etc, are hardly NH based issues. (By the way worldly travel guide DJ BJ, the "Vent pipe" in the pic with the AC and Propane tank, is a Water Well.)
Most people like to read blogs where the author seems to have a grasp on the subject and a basis for the critique, even when they may not be in agreement. Here, it's eminently clear the author is neither "well versed", deep or nor well traveled. Perhaps these failings could be overlooked if the humor was humorous. Alas - No.
Based on this author's total failure to write anything engaging, humorous, or informational, I won't waste any more of my time than I have already, but I'd like to recommend placing the disclaimer in my Byline at the top of your site.
Hope you find a place more to your liking. I'm thinking Elizabeth, NJ might rank high on your list. Sorry Elizabeth.
Dear Friend,
ReplyDelete4 more comments and you’re eligible for the pink Cadillac level. I knew you’d warm up to me, but am I really ready for you to shed your anonymity?
Dear Reading This Blog Is Hazardous...
ReplyDeleteHow do you know what Dick “Chaney” was aiming for?
Pink cadillac level? Good lord, what are you talking about? Are you referring to Mary Kay? That would make you the facilitator of a blog that is about as fresh as old-lady purfume. You are not funny at all, and probably a bad dancer too. All I can say at this point is WTF, this blog is just plain terrible.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is so incredibly accurate from an outsiders view it is hysterical. You have nailed probably 15 of the same things I just shake my head at - property taxes, propane, tailgating - the list goes on. I'm sure the above posters have lived in NH and won't understand. Agree 100%.
ReplyDeleteDear Dave,
ReplyDeleteAnonymous seems to have un resolved anger from a past life and a lot of time to write to you. Or maybe I am wrong, do you remember in kndergarten when people used to hit each other when they really liked the other person? Maybe, this person is REALLY a secret admirer.
I enjoyed your article and encourage you to keep them coming! And, I am with your mom, you have nice hair and an infectious smile. Keep up the great work! You rock.
Where did you live in NH? It may be a small state but there are very different areas.
ReplyDeleteAs for some of your opinions on the state I beg to differ. The accent you speak of comes mostly from relocated Mass citizens. The farther from Boston the less likely you will hear it at all.
The roads are narrow and winding because they were set a long time ago and instead of destroying all of the nature around us we went with it as easily as possible, if that means a winding road so be it.
Also, did you ever try well water? In one of my high school science classes we tested the water from our homes versus "public" water and bottled water (Dasani), my well water was more pure than both.
If you hate the high property tax, rent.
Also don't bitch about the snow; the farther north you go it's just a fact of life, NH is not the only one.
I will give you one point the black flies are terrible. I mean this whole thing is just your opinion which you are of course entitled too, but these grand generalizations are rude and make you seem ignorant.
Be thankful you only lived here a year. Hope you are enjoying whatever more wonderful place you are living in now. NH is beautiful and has no more or worse problems than anywhere else and has much good to offset the bad. Sorry it didn't work out for you.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, the worst thing about NH is it's proximity to MA. Those tailgaters? If they had ever backed off far enough to see what their plate said it probably was "Massachusetts". I agree that Boston is a frigging mess, you never know what lane you have to be in to get where you want to go, and no one else seems to know either. Most of the other things you said people up here consider pluses rather than minuses. Just depends on what your slice of pie happens to be. I can see that moving here from Nevada would be quite a shock. If you want to hear a real NH look up Fritz Wetherbee on you tube.
ReplyDeleteDear Dave,
ReplyDeleteI really loved your write up and thought it well written. Mr. Anonymous seems offended and I, who never have ever spend this much time reading blogs, have to admit that his protests to your opinions about NH were not backed up with any clear evidence or information to the contrary. I am from CA and looking at having to move to NH and feeling quite apprehensive about the unknown. The things you have mentioned about the Black Flies, standoffish and society have all been mentioned to me by other people.
I am a market analyst and habitually collect and evaluate information before I make a final decision. AND I always assume that most things I read or hear are opinion sprinkled with fact. So, Anonymous, if you are out there, please let me hear what is GOOD about NH, aside from the airport.
-S. CA Coastal
p.s. I will gladly be a member of your group, so you can count +1
Bazil,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your “slice of pie” comment. Clearly NH is the place to be for some folks. And, I did check out a couple of the Fritz Wetherbee segments. I think he would have been enjoyable to discover while I lived in NH. Ironically, his warm and informative manner is what many folks from NH lack.
S.CA Coastal,
Many thanks for the feedback and inspiring a new post. As for Mr. Anonymous, he was amusing, but I also wish he had added substance. I thought we had a pretty good thing going until the “can’t dance” comment. It’s hard to say something funnier than that.
In addition to Bazil, there have been a few fruitful comments – scenic beauty (they love their leaves), no billboards, and education (see Scotto – part 3 comments). However, few people take the time (or have the time) to make a comprehensive pro-NH argument. The website freestateproject.org has been referring NH folk my way. I only took a cursory curiosity glance, but it seems the collective group is all about NH love. I have to leave a disclaimer – I am slightly hesitant to suggest interacting with them, because I fear they could be aspiring for cult or militia status. So, tread lightly and unless you’ve brewed it yourself, don’t drink any Kool-Aid. Of course, they might be perfectly decent folks. (And I’m naturally adding this comment because of the current political hate climate. It’s dangerous to have an opinion these days.)
I am voluntarily choosing to move to NH precisely b/c they try to be self-reliant (with wells/septics), limited roads, etc... I have visited multiple times and almost everytime the great majority of people I meet are very pleasant. Unfortunately, it is in close proximity to Massachussetts which negates some of this effect.
ReplyDeleteI can certainly see why some people wouldn't appreciate such things...I, however, prefer to keep as much of my money to do what I want with it.
If only I could find some way to keep more of my own money from the federal government...maybe we wouldn't be able to afford military bases in 130+ countries and not quite so many people would die.