I Hate New Hampshire - Part 6 of 7

As indicated by the title, this is part six of a seven part "I Hate New Hampshire" series. This is not the casual observations of a visitor. Rather, my impressions were gathered during a painful year of actual residency. Beware all who follow.

SPORTS

Serial sports cynicism – FYI – New Englanders, certainly including New Hampshire folk, are generally avid fans of Boston sports teams (if they are into sports, that is). Just to recap, Boston has had a pretty good decade in professional sports – Patriots and Red Sox with multiple championships, and the Celtics with one this past season. Regardless, somewhere along the line, the folks in New England got used to the idea that Boston is Martyr Town, where the pro teams perpetually suck. It oozes out in the sportscasters commentary and in the tone of sports coverage in print and other media. At this point, you’d think they were disappointed with success. It kills their momentum. An example – “So, can you believe those piece of crap Celtics didn’t sweep the series?” (Some poetic license here, but you get the point). If you pay attention to interviews with Boston players and coaches, they almost always carefully emphasize that it’s a tough town to play in. Well, that’s not a very complex code meaning – ‘the fans and media treat us like crap.’ Generally I’m a big fan of cynicism, but at this stage their attitude reeks of hypocrisy and hints at entitlement. So the Bruins (hockey) haven’t won a championship this year – boo friggin hoo. Try to deal with being a Pacers fan for a while!

"Like, OMG! Can you believe there are people watching this game?"

Dodger Stadium East – Fenway Park is a justifiably notable historical baseball venue. It’s the type of place you feel obligated to go to if you’re in the neighborhood (and New Hampshire is neighborhood enough). Unfortunately, it seems to rank as much as a tourist attraction as it does a baseball setting. Consequently, you find German tourists fresh from Paul Revere’s house wandering around for 4 innings trying to find their seats (true story) and frat boys showing up to the game in the 4th inning (also a true story – “Hey dude! Did you see Drew hit that grand slam in the 3rd inning? I heard it on the radio! Sweet!” -- Yes, Skippy. I came to the game on time). Additionally, you have the constant distraction of kids successfully coaxing the crowd into reviving the wave (rather than watching the game), and beach balls bouncing onto the field and interrupting play (a la Dodger Stadium). Meanwhile, half the stadium is unaware of the etiquette of not walking in front of people during play (sort of like watching a constant stream of people walking back and forth during a movie), and Fenway is not at all designed to accommodate pedestrian traffic. There are seats that should wear the disclaimer ‘obstructed view’ that have no actual obstruction other than the hundreds of meandering idiots constantly blocking visibility. It’s a damn shame, because it is a historic park and a well-funded franchise, with half a crowd of educated baseball fans.

This half time show kept 'em glued to their seats, baby!