BASEBALL FAN ETIQUETTE 8

FOUL BALLS - Part 1

There’s a simple rule. Stay in your zone. It’s pathetic and offensive to watch some douchebag race 30 rows over to poach a ball. Sadly, I actually have to state the following. In no venue is it okay to knock over a baby stroller, throw an elbow at a pregnant lady, or stomp on an octogenarian. I don’t care if you are Mr. Big Dick on your beer league softball team. If you have to get on your horse to get under a foul ball, which you’re going to drop anyway, you’re out of line. Stay in your seat or within a few steps, unless you have a section to yourself. And if getting the ball necessitates you dive under the seats to beat an 8-year old to the ball, let the kid have it. I’m not saying that an adult can’t keep a foul ball. Quite the opposite - I guarantee that my foul ball is going to my lady, and not the nearest kid too busy picking his nose to notice which teams are playing. Just act like a friggin human in the process.

Don’t interfere with a fair ball. The best-case scenario is you get ejected from the park (deservedly so). Worst case is you cost your team the game by contributing to some freakish chain of events. Have a contingency plan so you won’t panic if the ball comes your way. Talk it over with your friends if you need to. And if you still don’t know what to do, don’t sit in the front row.

Don’t reach over the outstretched arms of the home team player trying to make a play in the stands. And when the opponent is reaching into the stands, you do need to go for the ball, aggressively, but in a sportsmanlike way. If you can’t handle the job, again, don’t sit in the front friggin row.

Don’t fall onto the field trying to scoop a passing ball. Act like you’ve been there before. If it’s meant to be, great, get your ball. But don’t put yourself in a position to have one of your boys trying to haul you back in the stands by your jock strap. Bad form, and you deserve the grief you get on Youtube.