Car Stereotype Intro

A popular adage states dogs and their owners grow to look alike. I don’t really buy it, but I do believe certain people tend to choose particular types of dogs. Macho dudes / gangsters buy the fighting dog flavor of the day. The Paris Hilton wannabe’s have a little toy dog to carry around, and apparently retired folks are compelled to keep a poodle. You could see how some of the physical traits (muscular, petite, white curly hair) reflect the owners. To the delight of sociologists everywhere, we frequently rush to embrace our own stereotype.

I don’t intend to play the ‘holier than though’ card, but I’m a simple ‘get the dog from a shelter’ type. I’m happy that this is a good thing. But in reality, I generally have low standards. So, mutts suit me just fine. Sure, I find it peculiar when someone spends hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a particular breed (except perhaps the hypoallergenic type), but it’s a personal choice. However, that purchase itself is a very informative bit of data, and the pricier the item, the more intriguing the evidence.

Stepping up a few rungs on the monetary ladder let’s consider a persons auto. One automotive maxim is that red cars get more tickets. I don’t blame the car. Rather, I think people that buy red cars tend to drive faster. Consequently, by my reckoning, this car stereotype does have some backward merit. The car didn’t define the person. The person defines him or herself by the car he or she chooses.


Of course, there are mitigating variables in any good stereotype. Age of the vehicle is important information – obviously you can have a Caddy, but lose a lot of the luster because it’s a 20 year old, rusted out pile. (Curiously, I don’t happen to notice a lot of aging Caddy’s on the road. The jury’s still out on if the product sucks, or if they were all wrecked by the geriatric crowd).

Similarly, there’s a load of information in the trimmings. Some people are exceptionally skilled at accessorizing. I’m not one of them. At this stage, it’s a victory when I get a belt on and double bonus points if the color / style matches my jeans, shorts, sandals, whatever. Accessorizing takes thought, and frankly I’m not terribly interested. (There was a brief period in 1990 when I wore an earring, but I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without saying, “Good God man, what’s wrong with you?”) Anyway, we accessorize our cars too – stereo, paint job, beads, bras, tinting, ground effects, wheels, spinners, search light, fog lights, tow ball, tow package, air intake, muffler, aerodynamic enhancements, tail gates, etc. Clearly the degree to which you’re willing to differentiate your ride from factory specs, says something about you and your needs.

In the following, I will boldly brush aside individuality and make some grand generalizations to maximize my personal entertainment. As a former member of the automotive industry (since reformed), I was able to get a good sense for the owners of particular types of cars. The following series of posts will be my vision of the prototypical owner by car type. Keep in mind, of course everything I say is colored by my experience, worldview, and tendency to embellish. But for clarity, I’ll waste some energy dropping a disclaimer here – although stereotypes are fun, potentially informative, and human nature to construct, they do not define a person. There are always exceptions. No individual should be put in a box and blah, blah, blah. Okay, we cool now? Now, stay tuned for the following installment, which will be the first in a series of car stereotypes.