DJ BJ's Band Names 3 - Answer Key

Due to a combination of questionable humor value, lazy readership, and perhaps some light complexity, I present the Band Names 3 Answer Key. This is for those of you that are:
a) too shy to ask questions (for fear of looking like a loser).
b) too polite (preserving my ever so fragile ego).
c) just not that interested in the first place.
Anyway, here’s some explanatory discussion.

Answer Key 21 - 30

21) You may be familiar with the term “beer dick,” or “whiskey dick.” If not, the meaning of all the above is lack of timely erection due to excessive alcohol. Or, to “use the parlance of our times,” this is chemically enhanced erectile dysfunction. “This Never Happened to Me Before” is a reference to the classic line a man utters when his unit fails at a critical moment.

22) This is fairly straightforward. The band has essentially won the lottery by getting the opportunity to go on a long tour with a band called “Drunken Sluts” which you should assume are a pack of easy girls.

23) “Yellow Puddles” refers to pee puddles. These meager guys (aka - the editors) apparently frighten easily and tend to pee themselves. They aren’t especially fond of bright lights and big stages, but you might coerce them into playing a song for you if things are calm and quiet.

24) “Aromatherapy” is the cultural phenomena associating pleasant smells with therapeutic treatment. “Dutch Oven” is the practical joke on a significant other where you fart in bed and pull the covers over his/her head, subjecting the other party to a high dose of your ass smell. Certainly this would be the opposite of a relaxing environment. “Skid Mark” is the little stain one leaves in the underpants when a fart goes wet.

25) “Inaugural” is a timely reference to the incoming President, and “Ball” is a double entendre that speaks of a formal dance and testicles (what else). “Down Under” is another double entendre for Australia and the crotch region, and being “Loaded with the Seeds of Change” is a reference to the new Presidents change platform as well as semen. Very progressive on my part, yes?

26) Hopefully you spotted the highlighted letters spelling out the alcohol drink (thanks again to the editors for making this more difficult than it needs to be). After that, the gin maker is obvious, and the condom producer is based off the actual name of the band.

27) Similar to 26, but about beer. Showing skin (“Busts”) certainly earns some extra favors, this case in the form of beer from our sponsor. Throw in the lingerie reference, and the visual is complete.

28) This is a genuine attempt at mixing the world of science and the world of sophomoric humor. “Joules” happens to sound like jewels, as in testicles. The joule happens to be an international unit of energy (unit here referring to penis). Although I couldn’t pretend to define joule in better detail, I was sold when unit met with joule.

29) I might be too pleased with this one, but I can’t help it. The “Seasonal Pubes” part is fairly simple – changing pubic hair with the season (warm and cold weather influences). “Carpet Matches Drapes” is a reference to the old, “Is she dying her hair?” question, suggesting potential for spotting a dye job by seeing the pubic hair. The “Hard Wood” part is suggesting that in the summer, I just shave it clean and get an erection. It’s compellingly graphic when I say it that way.

30) This is referring to foreskin and a particularly large penis that casts a formidable shadow.