Yes, there are those purists who take it black (focus perverts – the coffee). Let me start by saying, I’m way impressed with the size of your testicles and truck too. I presume you’re the same folks that only drink Guinness, preferably warm with the prototypical fizz appropriate glass, while sitting comfortably at the bar, in a place you will only refer to as a “pub.” I suspect you’ve also considered yourself a wine snob, publicly referred to yourself as a gourmet cook, and have a bitchin' casserole you take to family reunions. I’m thrilled for you and your superior palate. But, this part isn’t about you. You’re not the dude the big time coffee shop is making the rent off of (score a point for the bar with that Guinness fixation, though). They capitalize on the decaf, half-caf, latte, frozen and whipped crowd.
Fancy toppings or not, I never managed to get past that first coffee encounter. Now, be honest with yourself my dear coffee enthusiasts, when you first tasted coffee you didn’t exactly have an oral orgasm either. I suspect there was a considerable transitional period between wincing and twitching (twitching being how you look today if deprived of coffee for a few moments). Part of the allure is that it was forbidden fruit, since we were told it would stunt your growth, shrink your nuts, and such. But you persevered because you wanted or needed to acquire the taste. Perhaps you also thought if you held your cup just like Chandler, you might suddenly sprout a sense of humor and score Monica too. I think most people just thought it made them look all grown up, or heard the caffeine was dreamy, or whatever. A moral to the story is that rather than having an instant coffee love affair, the taste was acquired.
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