Life through a different lens

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wisdom from the Cubicle Jungle - 7

Businesses have assorted justifications for work cubicles – brainstorm area, space savings, inexpensive production, social accountability, etc. Physically, the cube is a slightly modified version of an elementary school desk. And this description comfortably fits the hierarchical intent and ensuing behavior. The cube dwellers are the incorrigible third graders, and the neighboring office dwellers are the real adults. Born from the careful observations of a novice cube dweller, this series is an attempt to identify the complex rules of the cubicle jungle. Don’t be alarmed if some rules seem contradictory.

31) Do not walk to a neighboring cubicle or office, when communicating via phone or email will suffice. It’s not just the exercise. Interpersonal skills are hard.

32) If it’s a convenient location, your cubicle is a perfectly reasonable place to hang out on days off. The casual attire and persistent web surfing will not only blend in with your neighbors, but passing supervisors probably won’t even notice you’re off duty.

33) When doing your on-line shopping, do not forget to accessorize. Seriously, what kind of idiot doesn’t pause to shop for matching shoes, handbag, and lingerie?

34) If your online purchase won’t be available for timely free delivery, you have no other choice but to call local stores. If this means you need to idly stay on hold for extensive parts of your workday, then so be it.

35) When in need of a minor medical procedure, obviously you’ll have to make that appointment by phone…while at your cube. The bonus is that the rest of the community gets to hear all about your pap smear, breast exam, or boil.

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