THE DRUNKEN IDIOT
At a baseball game (really at any sporting event), it’s apparently mandatory to have a drunken idiot in your immediate vicinity. You know this guy (and yes it’s almost exclusively a dude). He’s the moron repetitively screaming what he thinks is clever obscenities at the umpire; not that you actually have a chance to decipher his slurred ramblings. He just spilled half his beer on the 8-year old and his mom in the next row, and to everyone’s chagrin he has to stumble up and down the aisle every 12 minutes to take another leak and buy yet another round. He would be equally happy starting the wave or a brawl. He’s what I would describe as a five-tool moron - screaming, slurring, spilling, stumbling, and starting fights.
Now if you’re a drinker, it’s not unheard of to occasionally over indulge when caught up in the moment. Most of us would hopefully regret the oversight and attempt to learn from the experience. Regardless, it’s especially bad form at a ballgame. You’re not at a frat party, the sports bar, or club. This is not the venue for sloppy drunks. Being at the ballpark means you’re subjecting all kinds of unwilling participants to your stupidity. Imbibe like an adult, enjoy the game, cheer for your team, and go to the bar afterward to get your drunk on.
It’s the fiscally and socially responsible thing to do. You could get hammered at the game on $12 beer night, or after about 3 beers, you could have bought a keg in the real world. And it’s not that you’re just making yourself and your buddies look stupid. You’re giving the venue and the city a bad name. Have a modicum of self-respect and keep your inner party idiot in check.
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