Wisdom from the Cubicle Jungle - 9

Businesses have assorted justifications for work cubicles – brainstorm area, space savings, inexpensive production, social accountability, etc. Physically, the cube is a slightly modified version of an elementary school desk. And this description comfortably fits the hierarchical intent and ensuing behavior. The cube dwellers are the incorrigible third graders, and the neighboring office dwellers are the real adults. Born from the careful observations of a novice cube dweller, this series is an attempt to identify the complex rules of the cubicle jungle. Don’t be alarmed if some rules seem contradictory.

41) While job-hunting, you should maximize your efficiency by sharing the workload with a cube-mate. As a team, you can visit twice the websites and enjoy the social rewards of collaboration. It’s not like your next job is going to find itself!

42) It is permissible to spice up your day by playing a little game called – “Social Networking Jinx.” When stumbling on the same facebook post, the cube dweller that is last to type or say “LOL” has to buy a coke for the other. (On a side-note, please see the ADNW post “LOL must die” for our official position on that acronym.)

43) When a cube neighbor talks all day about a big party / social outing that evening, it is polite to play dumb when he/she calls in sick the next day with the beer flu.

44) It is expected you will arrive late to work most days. If anyone even notices, a standard dismissive excuse will suffice – traffic, dog vomited, shoulder shrug, etc.

45) However, when you arrive obnoxiously late (general guideline is 45 plus minutes), an interesting anecdote will be required. Your job status will not be impacted one way or the other, but your social standing in the jungle can suffer if you fail to deliver the appropriate entertainment value.