Wisdom from the Cubicle Jungle - 8

Businesses have assorted justifications for work cubicles – brainstorm area, space savings, inexpensive production, social accountability, etc. Physically, the cube is a slightly modified version of an elementary school desk. And this description comfortably fits the hierarchical intent and ensuing behavior. The cube dwellers are the incorrigible third graders, and the neighboring office dwellers are the real adults. Born from the careful observations of a novice cube dweller, this series is an attempt to identify the complex rules of the cubicle jungle. Don’t be alarmed if some rules seem contradictory.

36) Bring the drama. Your anecdotal life should mimic a soap opera. Everything has to be the worst or best, and there is no room for bland. Consider it your duty, because cube dwellers bore easily.

37) If your cubicle neighbor is in the midst of her 3^rd or 4^th phone call that requires the phrase, “I don’t know, what are you doing?” This is a cry for help. It is your job to help relieve her obvious boredom by dropping by to have an extended social break.

38) If your cube neighbor has a relationship in transition, it’s urgent to make sure she knows how much you care by interrogating her about the daily details of the evolving romance.

39) When someone is fired, it is expected that you will gossip in hushed tones. Certainly not so hushed as to be inaudible to the rest of the jungle, because that would also be rude. It’s more like a small child attempting a whisper – you can still be heard plainly at a distance, but you are able to express the appropriate respectful sentiment.

40) If overwhelmed with work, the best practice is to do nothing. Why let the weight of responsibility weigh you down when facebook is calling?