Life through a different lens

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Douchebag 101 - Lesson 3

At ADNW, we believe the World is full of aspiring douchebags. Whether due to a foul mood, illness, habit, or simply for sport, everyone engages in a little douchebaggery now and again. [Douchebaggery (n) – the deliberate or unintentional act of behaving like a douchebag.] Most of us will apologize or at least feel badly about ill behavior in retrospect. But for those of you douchebags aspiring to go pro, ADNW has some lessons to help you on your journey. Best of luck – Douchebag!

11 - Just toss your trash anywhere – people will pick up after you, or God will make it go away (in 10,000 years or so).

12 - Do not say “thank you!” This is a sign of weakness in douchebag culture and one of the lowest forms of emasculation.

13 - Smoke in an entryway. Not only do you provide an unavoidable wall of smoke for those entering and exiting, but given the appropriate conditions, you can also create an odious cloud of stench inside the building.

14 - Wear sunglasses indoors and/or at night (see Fashion Illiterate post).

15 - Yell at someone publicly. Do NOT waste your righteous fury in private.

Good fences make good neighbors? Perhaps a moat and a wall?

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