HOODIES
These are just fine in small doses – particularly when it’s cold out. Having the hood up is another matter. The hood up look is a swell sinister look for the “Unabomber” and the Grim Reaper. But when I see some kid hood up sitting in the library, or walking hood up through the mall, I’m not impressed with his ‘sinister-ness.’ Rather, I feel obligated to haze him. The awesome lack of peripheral vision and self-esteem is a prankster’s dream.
FEDORA
I dig the look. And, I really do wish it could fly in the present day. But, the only acceptable time to wear a fedora in the last 50 years has been as part of a Halloween costume. Sadly the fedora died with Sinatra, and I would anticipate it to regain social acceptability only about once a century.
TUQUE / STOCKING CAP
A wide variety of these can be fashionable and practical, which is an infrequent combo. But for clarification, it really should be worn when it’s cold. If that description is too vague, how about - if you’re wearing a t-shirt, you don’t need the tuque. Side note – skateboarders, it’s not much of a stand-in helmet either. Perhaps instead use, I don’t know, maybe a helmet?
LAYERED HEADGEAR
Examples - kerchief under your fedora / baseball hat
Unless it’s under your football helmet or you're in the Arctic, you get extra douchebag points. For some reason, the kerchief under baseball hat went from being ultra-gangsta to reminding me of Kevin Federline. And I think we can all agree (minus Kevin’s mom, maybe) that the carcass of “K-Fed’s” hip-ness lays adjacent Vanilla Ice. But if you insist on doing the layered hat look, you have my blessing. I could always use more funny pictures.
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