After a long break from hating New Hampshire, I feel compelled to add one more segment. Months and dozens of entertaining comments later (some even insightful), one comment in particular (thanks S. CA Coastal) brought up a critical question. What happens if you HAVE to move to NH? Obviously we all have things that are out of our control, and if this is your cross to bear, my condolences. But, now what?
Here are my recommendations – if you are obligated to move to NH:
1) Live as close to the coast as you can. It’s not cheap, but higher population density gives better odds you’ll find humanity. And of course by “humanity,” I mean people that will talk to you.
2) Rent. Don’t buy. Aside from avoiding an enormous yearly tax bill, you will also have fewer obstacles to making a quick escape.
3) Take your annual vacation during black fly season. Go anywhere but NH.
4) Plan to take on a hobby. Unchecked, the social isolation will drive you nuts. A productive hobby might distract you. (I qualify with “productive,” because I fear some claim heavy drinking as a hobby.)
5) Get a quality GPS device. You won’t know where you’re going and nobody will give a crap. Best to maximize your self-reliance with high quality resources. This also will assure you’re able to efficiently reach the airport from any location.
6) Prepare for the worst. The infrastructure is what it is, and it sucks. Budget for all the best winter equipment (snow removal equipment, camping supplies), with the assumption that you will battle icy roads, power and water outages.
7) For driving safety, I suggest you purchase a bumper car. Obviously a tank or very sturdy 4-wheel drive could also suffice.
8) Have a sense of humor. If laughter is the best medicine, you’ll need an assload.
Considering you're from Indiana do you really get to throw stones? And Nevada? A state that would exist if it weren't for gambling or the need for water in LA.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess that will show me. With that scathing and informative retort, the good people of Indiana and Nevada collectively bow their heads in shame.
ReplyDeleteSeriously man, what does Indiana bring to the table? Flat...flat....flat...Not to mention their history as a hotbed of racism.
ReplyDelete"Bring to the table?" I don't know. The food I guess. That flat, flat, flat land seems to be pretty good for farming. But don’t feel bad. I really do appreciate the value of your (NH folk) pleasant company.
ReplyDeleteAnd please tell me you see the irony in citing historical racism. In NH you still believe, "Diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used in the Civil War era.”
PS – thanks for prompting the Ron Burgundy quote.
This is so dead on. I h8 the hamster
ReplyDeleteHate NH so much we're leaving after only two years. To hell with this place. Beyond rude people. Sky high utilities. Rent is just as high in some cases as buying because you're compensating for the owner's taxes and mortgage. Property taxes are tied to good school districts here. So if you have children, and want them in a good district- expect to pay for it whether you buy or rent. The home we rented the last two years was $2300 a month. The new tenants are being taken at $2800 a month. That's the mindset in NH- landlords that raise rent when housing prices are declining. They originally tried to sell the house for almost 600K. The house is equivalent to what you could get for 250K if you travel out of NE and south of NY. No sales tax is not at all worth living here. They make up for it not only in property tax, but taxing food. Every restaurant bill always seems like it's $15 higher than it should be. The quality of produce is unbearable. In two years, I've yet to see one fully ripe red tomato- they remain kind of peachy-pink. The majority of people we've met here are snobs. Definitely far too many communities filled with women who do nothing but shop all day while their kids are cared for and schlepped around by nannies. These are the same women who need weekly cleaning ladies and can't make it to school events because they're "so busy". Electric bill is twice what it is anywhere else I've lived on the east coast. Oil costs are outrageous. Cable company just informed us our bill will go down $30 a month (keeping our entire package the same) just because we are moving from NH to another state. Go figure. And don't even get me started on the legal system here. The state can't afford to pay judges to remain on the bench anymore so they allow masters to proceed over court proceedings. In the past two years, I've seen repeat offenders with muultiple DUI's be released with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Yet, others have lost custody of their children here because they got a DUI (without their children being present). I've seen good parents lose custody and it be awarded to others who are abusive with criminal records. I'm replused by this state and will leave here and try my hardest to never think of it again!
ReplyDeletei live in Nh and it sucks. Real estate is a joke every property is hacked to shit by some cheap ass frenchie fuck. People are dbags. Women are the absolute worst i ever seen. Jobs suck.
ReplyDeletei cant go on anymore i need to do something less painless like stick my dick in a toaster oven and crank it on high.
wow i packing to move to nh as we speak,i'm starting to get alittle worried. i live in the rudest most stick up the arse hick state in the country! Minnesota! the assholes here believe in passive aggressivenessness and being confussed.you know, in a void. they'll wrinkle their noses at you because they think cruelity is cute.
ReplyDeletei'm a native nu yawkah, yeah from brooklyn, never been to jail or any other kinda trouble. but if i don't get out of minnesota real soon, and get back to the east coast, i don't know what!! thanx for the info. i will be checking back with you,
Spot on. I hope I didn't mess up my 4 yr old by moving here. Quality daycare is non existent, homes are garbage. I'll be gone after my yr is up.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this, I hate it here and have one more year before we can move and needed a laugh after today. I have lived in 12 states and visited 44 and this is by far the worst state with the rudest people. Absolutely disgusted. I am so glad to see at least I am not the only one who feels this way. NH sucks!
ReplyDelete