A Dave New World: From the Dr. Love Files

Dr. Love’s Holidating Do’s or Don’ts

‘Tis the season for really f’ing things up with friends, family and those distant relatives you just can’t wait to see. The one thing you really want to count on is that you’ll both still be a couple when the tinsel’s back in the box. Even the most solid of relationships will feel the winter chill and the stress of Mr. Heatmiser breathing down the back of your neck. Let’s face it the Holiday Season is stressful and celebrating together with the respective family clans can get on anyone’s last nerve. Hopefully the Doctor has some helpful hints to keep you from candy caning each other to death!

Do’s

Be prepared! Realize the potential the season brings. Manage each situation as you would normally, using your common sense. It will be more enjoyable when you maintain a firm handle on everything.
Schedule as much as possible on a calendar you both can share. Sounds corny but it might keep you from a disappointing mishap such as showing up to her work’s Holiday party two sheets from the wind or smelling like reindeer dung from that impromptu snipe hunt. It’s supposed to be your chance to be charming not a wino. Plus, don’t forget to sneak in a few naughty moments; I suggest one for each day of the month.
Leave sweet nothing messages, love notes or dirty little secrets as to what is yet to come as the 12 days of Christmas dwindle to a close. Be creative and keep each other wanting more.
Sneak away from that party or family gathering for a little rendezvous in the coat closet. A little New Years adventure is always good for the future story telling. ”…remember that time…”
Communication…Communication…Communication!
Splurge for a night on the town just the two of you. Take a carriage ride or enjoy the Yuletide Celebration, Christmas lighting ceremony, live Nativity, or enjoy The Nutcracker. Too easy, you can insert your own joke here!
Find the Christmas Spirit early. No one likes a scrooge. Whatever works for you, do it…volunteer at a local soup kitchen, start shopping on Black Friday, sit on Santa’s lap, bake your favorite cookies, break out the Holiday music, or my personal favorite, watch Rudolph take on the Bumble, he bounces!

Don’ts

Never get into a heated debate. There’s no place for politics or heated suggestions on topics only Uncle Eddie thinks he knows the answers to.
Don’t make plans for your significant other without a consultation first. See calendar above. It’s great that you want him to stop by mom & dads on Christmas Eve but don’t blind side him 2 hours before dinner. Likewise, a Christmas party sounds great until all your family and friends show up and none of his were even invited.
Lose the holiday sweater. Guys, it’s fugly on you. Grandma’s the only one who can get away with it.
No woman likes it when you bark orders to get you another beer. It’s not called in-sensitivity training for a reason -- so guy’s help out! Get off your a** and be perceptive to her needs even showing her you’re in touch with your feminine side; no one’s going to remember anyway, it’s Christmas…This goes for helping out your mother too!
Forgo the whips and paddles or crotchless for something classy. Although you might like it, she’s looking for something from the heart. This doesn’t mean it can’t be risqué or something your grandmother’s Aunt Sue would wear…Yuk. Note for the ladies: Some of you might disagree; just let your man know ahead of time if kinky is the spirit.
Choose your drinks wisely. Look we’ve all been there, remember that time at band camp when you blew chunks all over sweet Annie the flutist, not good…Besides have you seen eggnog from above your girl while holding her hair back? Definitely not good…
Secret Santa, White Elephant and caroling are only for Christmasochists, and we all feel the pain.