Dave's Dictionary 2

In the spirit of smash hit pseudo-terminology like irregardless and strategery, ADNW presents a new project – Dave’s Dictionary! You won’t find these words in Webster’s and they won’t clear your spell-check yet, but maybe one day.

Assmonia – any intestinally based illness; particularly those that make you crap a lot.
“Paul slipped out of work early, because he worried the assmonia may cost him a pair of clean shorts.”

Flumonia – a self-diagnosed illness that is making you seriously consider going to the doctor to get a real diagnosis.
“Mike couldn’t produce a doctor’s note for his supervisor, but he assured him he had a raging case of flumonia.”

Helmutt – an ugly person that has hair like a helmet.
“Lucy’s brother called her a helmutt when she matched an unfortunate figure with a particularly sturdy haircut.”

Instinkts – recognizing that a fart has been let go and vacating the area prior to the smell.
“Thinking quickly, Chad exercised his instinkts and vacated the cereal aisle before a few horrified customers knew he had dropped stink bomb.”

Beerslide – drinking adult beverages more heavily as the evening passes, then subsequently losing sense of when you should have said when.
“Things were going great for Erica until she got caught in a beerslide.”

Dave's Dictionary 1

In the spirit of smash hit pseudo-terminology like irregardless and strategery, ADNW presents a new project – Dave’s Dictionary! You won’t find these words in Webster’s and they won’t clear your spell-check, but maybe one day.

Beerstincts – Giving yourself up to the alcohol induced whimsy of the moment.
“Charles was initially concerned about preserving his reputation. But, he quickly gave in to his beerstincts and had a great time.”

Friendsulation – Having a wingman in an unfamiliar / hostile environment.
“Kyle detests going to dance clubs. But when Bryan agreed to go, the additional friendsulation compelled him to join the supermodels.”

Stockcock- Having an average sized penis.
“When the topic of penis size came up, Chad bravely brushed the question aside by claiming he had a stockcock.”

Stearing – being compelled to stare at a women’s chest or ass because of a particular item of revealing clothing she opted to wear. She steered you into staring.
“Mandy was pleased to notice her low cut blouse did the job, when she caught Paul stearing at her rack.”

Natureblock – Getting intimate with someone and being interrupted by an urgent nature call (gas included).
“Jimmy was about to consummate a perfect date with Jenny, but abruptly told her he had to leave. She thought it was nerves. But, Jimmy was privately disappointed in his choice of wings for dinner, which had created an untimely natureblock.”